Signs On Church Property

"No God — No Peace. Know God — Know Peace."
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"Free Trip to Heaven. Details Inside!"
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An ad for St.Joseph’s Episcopal Church has a picture of two hands holding stone tablets on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and a headline that reads, "For fast, fast, fast relief, take two tablets."
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"People are like tea bags — you have to put them in hot water before you
know how strong they are."
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"God so loved the world that He did not send a committee."
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"When down in the mouth, remember Jonah. He came out alright."
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"Fight truth decay — study the Bible daily."
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"Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives"
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"Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world."
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"Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church."
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"If you’re headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns."
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"If you don’t like the way you were born, try being born again."
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"Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain eternal fire insurance soon."
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"This is a ch_ _ ch. What is missing?" ———> (U R)
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"Forbidden fruit creates many jams."
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"In the dark? Follow the Son."
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"If you can’t sleep, don’t count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd."